The JADE-technique When Dealing With a Toxic Person.

Maria Anna van Driel
1 min readApr 14, 2023

When someone asks me how to deal with the tantrums of a narcissist after breaking away, I recommend going ‘No-contact’. But, unfortunately, that is not always possible.

If you absolutely must speak with a narcissist, have you heard of the ‘JADE-technique’?

Do not Justify,
do not Argue,
do not Defend and,
do not Explain.

  • Don’t provide reasons and/or justifications for any of your actions and your decisions.
    - Don’t engage in an argument or try to convince them of your point of view.
    - When they inevitably attack you, don’t defend yourself. That one is hard but trust me on this one.
    - Lastly, do not provide an explanation for your actions and/or your decisions.

Using this JADE-technique helps you to keep you emotionally balanced. Narcissistic and toxic people are trying to suck you into an argument. Simply state your point of view and state it once!

When and if they attempt to bully you, you end the conversation.

Not engaging in the argument is the boundary, ending the conversation is the consequence.



Maria Anna van Driel

In 2020 I realized I was trapped in a toxic relationship since '00. In Aug. '22 I found the strength to break away, flip my life to become a psychotherapist.