The Narcissist and Their Insurance Policy

Maria Anna van Driel
2 min readMar 18, 2023

I have to admit that, growing to hate the narcissist after having any kind of relationship with them is not only logical but also pretty easy to do. I mean, after all they did suck the F*ing life out of you and left you with a mere empty shell of the person you once were.

But you see here is the thing, the narcissist intentionally set you up to feel exactly this way. They want you to hate them. In fact, they depend on your hatred.

The narcissist tries to sell themselves of being built ford tough outside of fantasy land. But the reality is, you wont find someone more thin skinned. And as much as they can dole out, try to give it back and you will have yourself either a front row seat of ‘the not so incredible hulk’. Or granted access to their rendition of ‘the sound of silence’ where the silence is so deafening loud, you will be willing to chew your arm off just for them to utter a word. Both of which I highly don’t recommend to anyone under the age of still having a pulse.

Photo credit: Maria Anna van Driel

And so, your hatred towards them is their insurance policy that they will be able to elicit a heightened emotional response from you. Any time they come forth in efforts to provoke a reaction in the hope of getting their quick ‘fix’.

But in being indifferent to the narcissist you will castrate their ability of being able to use you as a source of their supply. And actually turns the tables on them too. As there is nothing that the narcissist fears or loathes more is their own true selves, being rejected or feeling unimportant. Which is exactly what your indifference will bring about.

So just remember, just like the love you gave them, they too are not deserving you hate. Save that for things like spiders or the sound of your alarm clock in the morning.

Focus on you and, f*ck the narcissist.

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Maria Anna van Driel

In 2020 I realized I was trapped in a toxic relationship since '00. In Aug. '22 I found the strength to break away, flip my life to become a psychotherapist.